KJ: Ultimate Hoops Shout-Outs before I leave for Vegas, Baby!

Ultimate Hoops, we need to talk

I have to be perfectly honest with y’all, I’ve already checked out for the week and it’s only Tuesday.

It’s not that I don’t love you, Ultimate Hoops. I really, really do.

It’s just that I’m tired. I’ve been traveling nonstop. And well, everyone here at the front office is heading to Las Vegas this week.

Let’s just say I have a one track mind and it’s focused on the saying we all know and love:

“What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.”

And that better be the case—but only through my departure on May 15.

You see, we kick off the latest league in Ultimate Hoops this week at Life Time Summerlin. It’s our largest destination in Life Time history and I have no doubts that it will soon be the largest Ultimate Hoops league, too.

I can’t even imagine the fodder for my blog those crazies are going to provide.

Then, throw in the NBA Playoffs with all the Lakers behaving badly and the fact that the Ultimate Hoops website is exploding now that Spring Season is in session, and my head is spinning.

Spinning.

Can someone get this girl a drink? Perhaps a chair by the pool? Momma needs to lay down. She’s all out of funny quips and witty snark.

But what this darling does have is a few questions about why Ultimate Hoops isn’t showing her the love lately*.

I am not playing. Scan the items below and let me know in the comments section if it’s just me or if Ultimate Hoops and I are no longer K-I-S-S-I-N-G-ing?

There are just so many things happening in Ultimate Hoops that this girl just doesn’t understand, like:

• Are we supposed to like or hate Hot Tub Tony? I can’t keep track. This week we love him, next week we’ll be all over him. Y’all are more fickle than a gaggle of teenage girls. You need to pick a side. My head is spinning.

• Why in the world would anyone pick on Kathryn? Seriously unnecessary is what I think of this uhlife.com posting.

• Why am I the only one commenting on this blog about The Cartel? They have their own team shoes! Does your team even have the same jerseys for every man? I’m guessing they don’t. Yet, not one comment sans mine? And then they lose the first game they play with said shoes? Why is there no chatter? Y’all are getting soft.

• Um, Young Love? Remember when you said I could be on your podcast any time? Yeah, like pretty much every first date I’ve ever had you never called again. Don’t think I’m not hurt by this. I cry every Monday night by my lonesome. You’ve crushed a little girl’s dreams**.

• Why is there all this movement among teams in Omaha? Did I miss something? Was it something similar to Tony Parker dating his teammate’s soon-to-be-ex-wife? Because that I could write about. That I could write very well about.

• Someone needs to feed Jimmy Neilly a little bit of LifeCafe. Seriously, this kid is half my weight sopping wet. Is Bloomington South not sharing their Muscle Milk with everyone? The guy is wasting away. Not on my watch! Ultimate Hoops, please pay for Jimmy*** to hit up Applebee’s.

• Would someone throw Pat Keller a bone already? The man posts more content to uhlife.com than anyone else and you guys can’t even be bothered to give him more than just one comment this week and then two the next (if he’s lucky). Can’t you see his video skills are improving? Besides, Chicago has a lot going on. You should probably start checking that out.

• Dear Denver: Thank God J.D. put up this post so I know you still even have a league in session. Otherwise, I feel like we’d never know if you existed. You’re missing out on the most fun part of the league—the trash talking.

• Where in the world is my personal invitation to the 2011 Ultimate Hoops Summer Classic June 17-19 in Chicago? And why am I the only one excited about this if Chicago’s coordinator cannot even be bothered to toss an invitation over the fence?

• Boys, have you met Detroit’s Widman? If not, you might want to check out this post. I feel like this young lady could mop the floor with most of you every day of the week and perhaps twice on Tuesdays. Scanning the stats for most of y’all I’m just not seeing even comparable numbers. Perhaps she is the best in the nation?

Honestly, listing any more of the questions swirling in my tiny melon will only make us all more confused. I’ll stop at 10 for today. That’s as high as most of you can count anyways.

What burning questions about Ultimate Hoops are on your mind?

In the meantime, if I don’t run off to Vegas forever and become a show girl or take a gamble and let Elvis marry me to a rich tycoon, you can find me here next Tuesday at www.uhlife.com.

* Honestly, why don’t you love me?
** How do you sleep at night?
*** I love you, Jimmy. Doesn’t mean I won’t give razz you, though.