JOE NEUENFELDT: Time for some REAL Minnesota Rec Power Rankings

First and foremost, there was no template used (just a Microsoft Word document) when performing these Power Rankings, nor do I claim to have invented Power Rankings or anything like that.

Second, it was really hard and took a really long time to rank 35 teams over three different leagues. I attempted to do it a couple of times last season and would give up about halfway through it.

So here’s the deal. There are 35 teams and 20 will make the playoffs. A lot of players hate the idea. Those who like it claim it was their own. It is impossible to please everyone. So who knows what will happen. It won’t hurt anything to try it this way for one season.

The last thing I will say before we get to the Rankings is that after the first Player’s Committee Meeting, the only thing that seems to be off limits in this league is criticizing and having something done about the refs.

And that’s the problem.

The refs are already compensated at a much higher rate than the rest of the UH staff you see on a nightly basis. Yet they are the most unreliable.

Why? Because they can be.

They have conditioned UH Coordinators to expect them to show up at least five minutes late and still want to get out of there early. And if you are playing in a 9 PM game, don’t expect a call. The refs have been as bad this season as ever. They T people up for being irritating, which means they can’t play through something being annoying any better than the players can. They don’t show up at all sometimes. And my favorite, sometimes they show up and ref with their hands in their pockets while barely jogging up the floor. It’s a joke. But they have ALL of the power. So don’t expect it to change any time soon.

Onto the rankings…..

35. The Heat 0-2

I love J. Moore as a GM. But your team is not going to be taken seriously if you start the season 0-2 with two forfeits.

34. Secret Agents 0-3

To say that this past week’s game against Redemption was a fiasco is one of the biggest understatements ever. I don’t blame Chad for deciding to play the game without a functioning scoreboard when all the players had already driven all that way to be there. But I do blame the Fridley Life Time staff for their half-ass attempt to get the scoreboard working and their minimal effort in offering a suitable resolution. Thank god Dustin was there to get it to work for the 8 and 9 PM games. This is just another example of the Fridley location treating Ultimate Hoops like their red headed step child. All they care about is how big a mess the players make in the gym and locker room. They know very little else about the league. Given how many other Life Time locations want UH at their facility, I’d put Fridley on a very short leash.

33. Clem’z Kids 0-3

It has not been a good transition for Benjamin Wagner and Mike O’Brien from Fridley to Bloomington. So far this team has lost by 39, 49 and 44. And the upcoming schedule isn’t doing them any favors. Perhaps they are eyeballing that March 23rd match-up with the Hawks as a potential first win? Or maybe it’s their next game against the Rebels? We’re not overlooking anyone.

32. Ideals 1-3

I wonder if it felt good for Joey Wedlund to beat Fortress, who has Arthur Williams, who Joey very endearingly named his team after, in a way. Or maybe it was kind of embarrassing to win by only 12 while playing five on four. One thing that very much impresses me about Joey’s stat line, though, is zero rebounds and zero assists when the other team has only four guys on the floor. That’s called plant yourself behind the three-point line and don’t move. And that’s exactly what I would do too. I respect that.

31. Two Tickets to Paradise 0-2

This is the only team I haven’t seen in action yet. But I love the team name. And I like seeing guys like Tom Harkman and Jason Briggs joining a squad with Plymouth champions Justin Harvey and Mitchell Jones. I think this team may be a couple of seasons away from making an impact in Plymouth. And they should really work on that shooting percentage. Only 27% from three point range and 36% overall.

30. Greenhorns 1-3

I would like to give mad props to Heath Stoll. The dude makes the same predictions every week. Always predicts his team to win. And basically says the same thing over and over. And somehow it makes everyone in the league angry time and time again. His posts get hit after hit and countless response. The guy is blogging gold. And people say the most idiotic things to him. Things like: “You suck” or “now we’re going to take it out on your team.” Heath has never once claimed to be a great player. Yet the clowns of the world think they are really giving it back to him by telling him he’s no good? Groundbreaking stuff. And to all the idiots that credit bulletin board material for beating someone, all you’re doing is telling everyone else that you don’t play hard or try to win unless someone talks s*it to you. You’re making yourself look really cool.

29. Redemption 2-1

Well, it’s official. I have been banned from working any more of Redemption’s games. What will I be missing out on the rest of the way? A team where no one (except Buckalew and I guess Rhodes) ever wants to sub out. It always comes with whining, pouting or refusal to sub. Also, I will be missing out on at least four losses coming their way, including a huge one to end the season at the hands of the Celtics. And I have a couple of final parting words for Kevin Becker.

First, you’re very lucky Paul Kruse wasn’t there to witness the garbage you were saying. He would have booted you from UH for the season and maybe longer.

Second, in the many 45 second conversations/arguments I’ve had with people in my life, I’ve never had another man talk as much about and refer to me being all over or going down on other guys as much as you did in that 45 seconds on Thursday night. Kind of seemed like a weird thing to keep saying over and over. But whatever works. Lastly, you’re lucky I don’t give the rest of the league a scouting performance of you after your defensive effort on Parris Curren.

28. Lobos 0-2

I don’t think there is anyone more valuable to his team than John Cloeter is to this team. He played a little more than half of one game and finished with 28 points, 5 rebounds and 2 blocks. And the worst part is that he was finally starting to shoot lights out. The schedule is absolutely brutal the rest of the way with the Sphinx, Bobcats, Blazers, Blue Chips, Generals and Riddlers. I think 0-8 is a great possibility depending on how long Cloeter is out. And they could allow close to 100 points per game.

27. Hawks 0-2

Let’s just call them Jimmy Neilly’s favorite team. Ask him if you want to know why. This is a team that plays every other season in Bloomington South. And the results are typically not pretty. One thing this team has accomplished so far, though, is that they managed 7 first half points and 28 total in week one against the Riddlers. Also, impressively, Romaro Nelson leads the team in points, rebounds, assists, steals, blocks, field goal attempts, 3-point field goal attempts and free throw attempts. Only category he doesn’t lead is in minutes, which is led by James Archer, who Jimmy especially likes because they have the same first name.

26. Blazers (Plymouth) 0-2

UH screwed up on this one. How can you let the Blazers have the same team name (with pretty much the same team) in two different divisions? They should have been required to come up with a different team name. What if both teams make the playoffs? Two different match ups against the Blazers? I don’t like it. As for this Blazer team compared to the other one in Bloomington, this one doesn’t have Chad Nyberg or Jackson Eddy. They are a considerably better team with those two than without.

25. Fortress 1-3

It’s all over for this team. They had a great opportunity to be 2-2 and right in the thick of things in Fridley. Then they showed up to play the Ideals with only four guys and lost by 12. Apparently Arthur was so busy posting on the UH boards all day that he forgot to find out which of his players would be there for the game. They probably have to win out to be in the top four in Fridley (not going to happen with the Turtles and Chaos still to go on the schedule). And their one win over the free agents is not making a strong case for an at large bid. Go ahead and forfeit the rest of the way. Maybe I’ll get a night off from the Fridley freak show.

24. Team Luke 1-2

Is this team name a really clever and awesome tribute to Star Wars and Luke Skywalker or the laziest team name of all time because a guy on their team is named Luke? I’ll wager on the latter. It’s really hard to assess Plymouth teams. I can’t tell which guys aren’t trying compared to which guys are just hungover. Cy Amundson is a very solid player for this squad. But I feel they will finish just outside the top four teams, and who knows if that will be good enough for an at large bid.

23. Six Five One 1-1

Is this team name a “St. Baul” type rip off? I want to know if these guys all have 651 phone numbers. All the St. Baul guys are from St. Paul. If these guys aren’t all 651 guys, I think UH should make them change their team name immediately. As for how good this team is, I have no idea. They have some talented guys. Including the dominant (just ask him) Danny Wathum. But they only had four guys last week. And I think they will lose at least three more games. Which should translate to no automatic playoff bid and no at large bid as well.

22. SOTA 1-3

If Ultimate Hoops changed from a basketball league to street fighting, you would hope to come down with an illness the week you face this team. And as Jimmy Neilly pointed out in week 1, this is an awesome team name with awesome player names as well. Venant Juma, Cardell Poe, Peter Dinh, Santos Rivero, Tramon Van Leer and Jay-R Ramirez. I defy you to find a team with better player names than that. Another note from week 1. I informed Tramon Van Leer that he had five fouls early in the second half. Because Santos Rivero had the same jersey number as Van Leer, he thought I was telling him that he had five fouls. He clearly disagreed with that and wasn’t real happy to say the least. I quickly explained to him that it was the other person with the same jersey number I was talking to. And thank God I explained myself. It was the first time sitting at the score table that I thought I was going to get punched in the face.

21. Chaos 1-2

I want to know how far this team would have gone last season if they had just remained iron five like they were the first few games. They gave the Turtles one of the biggest beatings in franchise history and were only a couple of points down at the half to the Celtics. What could have been? The current team is actually pretty talented. If I had to pick two things they need to work on, though, I would say obtaining jerseys with numbers on the front and back is one. And second, finding a way to substitute without some kind of fight would be good also.

20. Noisy Withdrawal 2-2

Isaiah Goodman is one of the most exciting players in the league to watch. He takes it strong to the hoop and makes some sick passes. As for the team, they are still really good at beating the teams they should beat and losing to good teams. So I fully expect them to lose to the Bulls and Celtics and then beat the Ideals and Secret Agents to finish the season 4-4. Won’t be good enough for the automatic bid into the playoffs. But I think they have a good chance of making it as an at large bid.

19. Poolboys 3-0

This team should be relevant again in Plymouth. I think they are the fourth best team in their league and will finish in the top four to earn an automatic bid to the playoffs. After that, I expect them to be the same old Poolboys. And I’m not sure why Joe Heck is so concerned about the eligibility of a player on a team that his team already beat. His squad has already played (and were very fortunate to win) a 4 on 4 game. He should worry about getting his own guys there every week. Leave being a narc to Nick Roell.

18. Blue Chips 0-1

Some Fridley teams have played four games. This team has only played one. So it’s hard to assess where they are at. But any time they have Keilon Riddley and Sam Halverson in attendance, they have a chance, no matter who they play. And if Chris Daly can keep his turnovers down as well as his head in the game, they should finish around 4-4 and with a good chance at an at large bid into the playoffs.

17. That Thang 2-1

This combination of St. Baul, Pat Magnuson and a couple of other good, new guys makes this team legitimate in Fridley. If they take care of business this week against Redemption, look for next week’s game against Phoenix Down to be a huge one when it comes to determining the top four teams in Fridley. I like this team to finish 6-2 or 5-3. And I think either of those records will be good enough for at least an at large playoff berth.

16. Gifted and Young 1-2

They’ve already played the two best teams in Plymouth, and lost. So I expect they will win out the rest of the way and earn an automatic bid into the playoffs. How far they go in the playoffs is going to depend on the health of Cloeter. They are likely still disappointed in last season’s playoff loss to the Poolboys. And they know they let one slip away this season against Squall. But they are a resilient bunch. And it’s not everyday you see a team with seven guards on their team, five of which can play point guard.

15. Lakers 1-2

They had the Sphinx on the ropes for most of the game. Same with the Riddlers. And fell apart at the end. And what bothers me the most about the Riddlers loss is that they blamed the refs for it instead of themselves. Did the refs cause Pete Clark to hit four consecutive second half three pointers while Mike Wolf was on the bench? Bloomington South this season is like college football where every loss is huge. One more for this squad and they may have no chance at a top four finish.

14. Erbert & Gerbert’s Plymouth 3-0

I honestly thought this team was cursed by a team name and would never have a winning record. But stealing Sam Halverson from Band of Brothers was just about the smartest thing they’ve ever done. And they have a good chance at taking the Plymouth title. And is anyone surprised that Danny Simmer finishes every week with the highest PPR on his team when he’s the guy that created the formula that doesn’t seem to make a lot of sense?

13. Squall 3-0

What is the difference between this team and Phoenix Down? They play in Plymouth. Which means they won’t play the same level of competition all season. Which is why they aren’t ranked as high as their Fridley personality. A top four finish is all but a done deal for this squad. And a week eight match up with E & G should determine the number one Plymouth team as well as the highest ranked Plymouth team come sweet 16 time.

12. Generals 1-1

They saw just what the Sphinx are capable of offensively when they are at full strength. But what the heck was with their defense? That did not look like the Generals team I’ve always seen. Paul Olson is not himself right now. And everyone’s schedule in Bloomington is brutal. They play three undefeated teams in a row in the Riddlers, St. Baul and the Thunder. And finish the season with the Bobcats. I predict they finish out of the top four in Bloomington, but make the playoffs as an at large bid.

11. Rebels 1-1

Am I completely biased towards this team? Yes. Am I ashamed to admit it? No. With that in mind, however, I will likely Power Rank them lower than they deserve. Their 32 point win against the Sphinx was beyond very impressive (in my opinion) and I had very little to do with it. One thing I am disappointed in, however, is the team picture. Jimmy allowed them to just stand there and even let Dupont have white side up until he tried to flip it to black at the last possible second. As for Montzka’s attire, don’t ask me. We’ll just try to focus on winning games, and let the other teams compete for Best Team Picture.

10. Bobcats 1-2

With the pickup of Derek Batiste, this could be just about the best 1-2 team the Rec division has ever seen. It seems hard to believe that a team with Batiste, Joe Epple, Garland Sanchez and Justin Pederson would lose any more regular season games. But they still have St. Baul, the Sphinx and Generals to go. And no one can overlook the Blue Chips or Lobos (if Cloeter is back). I expect the Bobcats to be an at large bid for the playoffs should they not be in the top four in Bloomington.

9. Blazers (Bloomington South) 2-0

It’s been a fantastic start for this franchise that typically underachieves. They finally finished a game against a good Bobcats team when it past seasons they would have folded. Joe Suek is leading the team in everything and playing like an MVP. Am I ready to say these guys are legit contenders for the Gold Cup? Not quite yet. If they handle the Thunder this week, we’ll revisit that.

8. Thunder 2-0

We’ve seen a 2-0 start out of these guys before. But with no Riddlers, Sphinx, Rebels or Bobcats on the schedule, they really have no one to blame but themselves if they don’t finish in the top four in Bloomington. Jeremy Bachman is averaging 24 points and 12 assists per game right now. But I saw his teammates turn on him in their most important game of the season last year. And what did it get them? No chance to win their playoff game at the end when he was on the bench. A lot of guys want shots on this team. Not sure there are enough to go around.

7. Phoenix Down 3-1

Right now they are breathing a sigh of relief. And if they’re not, they should be. Jersey techs won the game for them against Chaos. And they know it. This team should definitely finish top four in Fridley. However, if I had to predict their final regular season record, I would guess 5-3, with losses coming to the Celtics and Bulls to end the season. They better take care of business against SOTA and take That Thang seriously or they may be hoping for an at large bid into the playoffs.

6. Ninja Turtles 3-1

I was really hoping they would beat the Bulls this past week so we could have a week 8 match up of the undefeateds when they face the Celtics. Also, good work to UH for scheduling this match up at the end of the season instead of the beginning. It is certain to be a very relevant game and may just decide the number one overall seed of the Sweet 16. Sean Ball was a great pick up for this team. Expect them to be a final four team come playoff time.

5. Sphinx 2-1

An actual text I got from someone (who was not at the game) after the Rebels beat the Sphinx last week 82-50:

“If Hurt and Radde were there, Sphinx win easily.”

I replied calm and casually stating: “That may be true. I’m not sure about easily, though.”

This person replies: “It would have been easily. Hurt is the most underrated player in the league.”

I came away from this conversation with two thoughts. First, how can a guy be the most underrated player in the league when I’ve been telling everyone how good he is ever since his first UH game? Second (and Pete Clark’s assessment of the Sphinx having no energy, which he gathered by watching the last few minutes of a 20 + point game, helped with this), the Rebels blowing out a very good team hasn’t won anyone over yet.

4. Bulls 3-1

The Turtles beat Phoenix Down and the Bulls beat the Turtles. So what does that give you? A new second best team in Fridley. With Roderick Powell and Romaro Nelson dominating defenses, they are a team that should be taken very seriously. They should win the next three in a row pretty easily to finish with six wins. But 7-1 certainly isn’t out of the question.

Lastly, Eugene Phelps is very lucky he isn’t suspended for at least one game for pushing/hitting Jeff Smith from behind. Being that I am one of the only people that saw the whole thing, I took it to Chad recommending a one game suspension for Roderick Powell for taunting and Jeff Smith for throwing the ball at him and a two game suspension to Phelps for nearly starting a brawl. Looks like nothing is going to happen, though. And by the way, the dunk didn’t count. Game had already been called. And I doubt the Turtles will forget about it next time you play them and they are at full strength.

3. St. Baul 2-0

I swear Andrew Klobe is getting better every season. 18 points, 14 rebounds and 3.5 blocks per game is ridiculous. Definitely MVP type numbers thus far. And now that Ryan Samuelson will be playing with them this season instead of sitting out, they are definite favorites to get to the Gold Cup game. They have a pretty tough match up this coming week, though. The Bobcats always play them tough. If they can pull out a victory, look for them to be undefeated going into their week 7 match up with the Riddlers.

2. Riddlers 2-0

I don’t think anyone realizes what a run the Riddlers went on in last season’s playoffs. They beat the Bobcats, Generals and T-Pups (the top 3 seeds in Bloomington). Then they beat the hell out of the Turtles. And lost by only 2 points to the best Rec team of all time (Celtics) in Fridley (where most of them have never played before) for the Gold Cup. Had they won that game, it would have been the most impressive playoff performance ever. I have to give them credit for that, even if I hate their guts.

As for this season, they are even better. Maybe the best defensive team you will ever see. Yet they still don’t like each other. And when they are screaming at each other, they don’t play very well. All it takes is one of those games come playoff time to end their season.

As for you, Andy Steingas, March 2 is the day you’ll face the Rebels. And we have something for you….

1. Celtics 3-0

This team has the best player and two of the five superstars of the league. They have the best GM in the league. Everyone wants to play for them. And even though they just went undefeated and won the Gold Cup last season, they’re still hungry. But Ray Willis is going to learn a couple of things real quickly playing for the Celtics. First, if you’re playing for your own stats above all else, you won’t be a Celtic for too long. And second, and the rest of the Celtics have already learned this the hard way, if you start messing around in the second half of a game just because you have a big lead, someone will beat you down the road because you don’t know how to play in a close game. You need to play seriously for 44 minutes. With that in mind, however, if you’re going to full court press the Greenhorns, do it in the first half and not the second.