KJ MEDIADARLING: Save the drama for your momma

Save the drama for your momma

Not because anyone has ever asked—but because it’s my blog and you can’t stop me from running my mouth—I spend most of my Sunday afternoons sleeping off and on while watching sports when I’m not working a Life Time event.



You can imagine my delight then when I stumbled upon a Basketball Wives (BWs) marathon in the midst of all the sports goodness ESPN in its nine* varieties had to offer. Or the heightened excitement when I realized BWs was quickly followed up by the Real Housewives of Orange County (RHOC) season premiere.



The only one thing I cannot understand as hard as I try after all this reality trash viewing is: What are all of these women whining and crying about?!?



Okay, one more thing left me puzzled: Why does this all remind me of LeBron James?



These folks have more money, and let’s be honest free time, than any other human on the planet. No one takes them seriously, so they never have to be serious. They are adored for basically standing around and doing nothing. Oh, and did I mention they have lots and lots and lots of money?



It poses so many questions and random statements in my mind, I’m happy to have a blog loosely devoted to basketball on which I can vent. Let’s explore the top 10 inner workings of my mind, shall we?



1. Are you sure you didn’t attend a school for Fine Arts, LeBron? Because to me it seems you’re majoring in drama. VH1 and Bravo TV have an outlet for you if you want to hang with your girlfriends and have some cosmos.

2. Do actual housewives in Orange County have their own makeup and hair teams come over to prep them before every Tupperware party? This seems wasteful and, well, boring.

3. Aren’t there roughly 430 players in the NBA, and shouldn’t that mean the BWs could technically each find different players to fight over so they aren’t all with the same one?

4. King James, you were raised in Ohio. Did you miss the day where all Midwesterners were ingrained with a work ethic where your work speaks for you not your loud mouth?

5. We’ve finally discovered something that is recession-proof: Spray tan in the state of California. Thanks, Gretchen and Tamara!

6. Who dresses you people? Seriously, I’m asking because I want to talk bedazzling, hem line lengths and color combinations with your designers and/or stylists. You’re a grown woman and that look isn’t cute.

7. There is something called ‘showing too much leg’ and you’ve mastered it. Congratulations!

8. Next time, think before you tweet. If I was a soldier overseas, I’d be offended being compared to your Heat. What those men and women do in faraway lands to protect our freedom has nothing to do with your poor basketball skills. **

9. How can human beings drink that much? Do you ever put the booze away? Is every night a cocktail night? How pickled is your liver? There is something to be said about restraint.

10. What do your mothers think when they watch you on TV? And are your fathers even remotely ashamed when they read your comments in the paper? Oh, wait! I think I’ve just figured out the answer to this one. No parental guidance.



Thank goodness Tosh’s ‘Happy Thoughts’ came on and rescued me from this melodrama or I might have jumped out a window. Next week I’ll watch NASCAR before I zone out on reality TV.



Catch my latest blog post every Tuesdays here at www.uhlife.com. In the meantime, if you’ve got a question about health, fitness, grooming, girls, pop culture, nutrition, or basketball, post it in the comments below. I’ll answer your question with help from Life Time’s panel of experts.



* Yes, I realize there aren’t nine ESPN channels. But some days it feels like it. And like none of them are showing anything worth watching, too.

** Thank you to all of our troops who fight and defend our country. I’m forever grateful.