SCOTTSDALE, AZ: Week 1 Power Rankings | A Scientific Breakdown

We consulted data scientists and interviewed the top analytical minds in the business. After weeks of complex regression analysis and utilizing actuarial trend models, we have come up with what we feel is hands-down the most accurate assessment of the upcoming season. Some might even say that we may not need to play out the season because of how accurate these rankings are.

Okay, full disclosure…the first paragraph may not be entirely true. In fact it might be the overstatement of the year. Here’s the thing; as anyone knows the season is hard as hell to predict because there are so many different variables that go into each game - teams lose players to injuries, players can’t make the games because of outside commitments, some just quit because they don’t like their teammates.

How hard is it to predict? Raise your hand if you had the #5 team in last year’s playoffs win the championship. You can put both your hands down now Chris, we know you rep your team harder than anyone should be allowed to.

Week 1 Power Rankings

1. XOVER (1-0, LW --) The reigning champions came out with a bang in Week 1 and let it be known that they are coming out H.A.M. They bring back their core players and what a core it is. You know the usual suspects, but the question all season - Will this team just rest on their laurels or will they have the fire throughout the year and repeat as champions?

2. FIRE BREATHING RUBBER DUCKIES (1-0, LW --) I don’t know if this is supposed to be cute or I should be scared that ducks made of rubber can shoot out fire. All I know is that I can’t wait to watch this team in action every week. Bret Bernbaum has assembled, on paper, what appears to be the most athletic team. There is still a lot of unknown with this team, but based on their first game, this team is going to be scary good.

3. WE DEM BOYZ (1-0, LW --) Hold up hold up, we makin’ noise….this team has got some firepower let me tell ya. League veteran Tristan Thompson leaves the Splash Brothers and makes a splash of his own by assembling a team that looks to be one of the highest scoring teams in the league. Newcomer David Delnero came out strong and showed that he’s someone we need to keep an eye out for.

4. TIMELIFERS (1-0, LW --) The team that started out hot as anyone last year, started to fizzle down the stretch. However, they picked up a valuable piece in the offseason in Danny Dziezic. They should be better suited to sustain a solid run throughout the season as most teams will still overlook them. Danny will spread the floor and this will allow Bobby Daly and Kyle Rivas to score like they’re capable of while big man Jim Hobbs will be able to maneuver down low and get those garbage buckets.

5. PHX BALLAS (0-1, LW --) They essentially bring back the same squad as last year, led by MVP candidate Tyrone Jones, however will that be enough to compete? The competition has improved dramatically and they need to find their mojo if they expect to be a top-tier team. They still seem out of sync the first week, but I don’t think the funk will last all season – they’re too talented.

6. DOG GOES WOOF, CAT GOES MEOW (0-1, LW --) Glad they kept the name...simple logic, but hard as hell to type out. Anyways, they’ve got all the pieces to be the best team in the league with big man Adam Grimes manning the middle, athletic wing Brandon Birden, and sharp shooter Klayton Kristick. Time will tell if this team can mesh together.

7. SUPERSONICS (0-1, LW --) The team loses but Darrin Dorsey, but they still bring back a solid core of Kyle Hansen, Max Sutton, and Aaron Braude. However it’s dejavu all over again because they struggle to get all their players to show up each week. Week 1 was no different as we played the “let’s see who shows up tonight” game.

8. SCOTTSDALE FA (0-1, LW --) This is not your mama’s team. They are led by All-World Brad Carroll and double-double machine Jordan Teed - this team will make some noise. New comer Rod Gutierrez can be the work horse of this group. However, this team will struggle early until they get a good groove and figure each other out.

Those are the result of weeks (maybe it was just one day) of analysis (ok maybe analysis is too strong a word) with the rankings partially based on last year’s results and partially based on what the moves each team made. Have fun discussing which teams you feel are overrated and which ones I’ve underrated. As always, make it your case on the court on and on the discussion boards


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Check out this week's Hot Seat interview with Bret Bernbaum and see who he's calling out.